


"Everything"

by ChoiAnnie



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-27
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-06-17 05:14:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15454095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChoiAnnie/pseuds/ChoiAnnie
Summary: "I can't believe you are falling in love with Raven.""Yeah, well... I think it's time for you to continue saying stupid things outside. Thanks."





	1. Right to the point

**Author's Note:**

> So... First of all, I apologize for possible mistakes in the writing. I'm still learning English and it's the first time I try to write a story in this language. Anyway, if you want to leave a comment (or just read it at all) I would be grateful.

"Your behaviour is scaring me, Murphy."

Bellamy was sitting next to his friend, who was laying on the floor using his hands as a pillow, just looking at the tent's roof. 

"What the hell are you talking about?" Murphy asked focusing his attention on Bellamy this time, because he had no idea of why was that for.

"I'm talking about Raven." He said in a direct, very cold tone that for some reason, made Murphy's heart jump against his chest.

He managed to hide his nervousness and stood up slowly, turning to face Bellamy, who imitated his movements so they were now in front of each other. Murphy let out a sigh before speaking:

"Just go to the point, Bellamy."

"I had never seen you putting your own life in risk as many times as you did it for her these past days. No, I had never seen you risking your life for anyone at all, Murphy."

"And what's wrong with that?" 

"Why do you have to be so defensive? I'm just a bit surprised of how much have you cared about Raven since this problem started." He tried to explain. "I just... I thought that maybe you needed someone to talk with, to admit aloud what are you..."

"What I'm feeling for her?" Murphy interrupted, "I don't even know that! The only thing I know for sure is that I have been looking at her with different eyes lately, everything she does seems different to me now. And I don't think you can help me solve that, if that is what you were trying to do." 

Bellamy let out a little giggle in response, shaking his head slightly at the incredulity of his words. Because... Come on, it was about Murphy, it was about John Murphy having feelings for Raven Reyes and trying to explain it to someone else. Incredible. Just too incredible to be real because there was no way to make it work in Bellamy's mind. He thought it was okay, anyway, as long as it could work in his —and Raven's— mind. 

"I can't believe you are falling in love with Raven." 

"Yeah, well... I think it's time for you to continue saying stupid things outside. Thanks." Murphy finished the conversation and he noticed that Bellamy wasn't paying attention to him but looking over his shoulder with surprise in his face. "What?" He asked confused, turning to look at the exit, but he didn't see anything strange. 

"Nothing," Bellamy whispered, "I just remembered I have to go."

"Thank God..." Murphy said quietly.

Once outside, Bellamy walked around the camp looking for Raven and he found her sitting on a tree trunk that was besides her tent. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even moved when he seated by her side, staring at her serious face for a moment. Then, Bellamy decided to speak:

"How much did you hear, Raven?"

"Everything." She murmured without changing her expression.

 

 

 


	2. Night Walk

She was confused.

  
It was late, it was so late at night and she couldn't find a way to fall asleep because her head had decided to keep spinning around the same specific moment over and over again. Specially, she couldn't stop thinking about the fact that maybe she shouldn't have heard those words, but she did, and her frustration was gradually increasing with every minute that passed.

  
_It's not a big deal, Raven,_ she thought, even when she had knew it was much more complicated than that.

  
Everything was really confusing for Raven, but she knew for sure that spending the entire night looking at nothing at all was definitely the most useless way to find a solution to her problem. So she decided it was time to get up and go for a walk.

  
It was cold inside the woods, but it was even colder at the edge of the lake where she took a seat, closing her eyes during a few seconds just to feel the soft breeze blowing against her skin.

  
"You shouldn't be here alone, Reyes."

  
That recognized voice broke the silence abruptly, taking Raven by surprise as she turned to see Murphy's dark figure clearing up with each step he took in her direction.

  
"And you should stop appearing that way, you know?" she said in a low voice, internally taking that reason as the cause of the sudden increase in her heartbeat.

  
"Maybe, yes. I'm sorry." He sat down beside her and explained: "I didn't expect to find someone else, by the way."

  
Raven nodded staring at the water in front of them. Unsure of what to say next, she decided not to say anything.

  
_You got this, Reyes. Clearly._

  
"So what?" Murphy asked after a few seconds of silence, pulling her away from her thoughts. "Did you fall from bed tonight?"

  
He didn't receive an answer either. In exchange, she gave him a disdainful smile and Murphy just smiled in return, realizing that Raven wasn't in the mood to talk very much.

  
They stayed in silence for a couple minutes, she was just looking at nothing in particular but avoiding eye contact as much as she could. He knew that Raven wasn't mad at him, but he realized something was wrong anyway, because she had never acted so weird with him before. Raven Reyes had always have something to say. Murphy wasn't used to her silence, and the situation was making him feel weird as well.

  
He just kept staring at her a little longer than he probably should. She was aware of his insistent gaze, and making her feel uncomfortable wasn't a good plan, actually. But he couldn't help it. He couldn't help staring at Raven's features like he has never done it before, finally concluding that she was beautiful.

  
She was so beautiful, and he was already lost at that point.

  
"What?" Raven whispered turning to face him, and it wasn't until that moment that Murphy realized she was rubbing her bare arms with her hands, trying to warm herself in some way.

  
Certainly, going outside wearing thin pants and a tank top wasn't the best idea she could have had. However, he didn't hesitated to take off his jacket, passing an arm over Raven's shoulders to cover her with it. Their faces were closer to each other, and his warm breath sent shivers through her cold skin during the few seconds the moment lasted.

  
"You're welcome, Raven." Murphy murmured before pulling away from her.

  
And guess who were even more confused now. 


	3. Insomnia

He is fighting against himself all the time, because he has spent the last few weeks trying to avoid Raven's presence as much as she has done with him. The problem is that he hasn't found a way to keep her away from his thoughts yet. What is more, Murphy has started to think that the more he tries to get away from her, the more he thinks about how much he would like to be by her side every single day.

Murphy knows. Murphy perfectly knows what is that for, but he doesn't want to admit it.

He doesn't want to admit he misses her. But he does.   

"Are you okay?" Emori asks with a worried look on her face.

"Yes, I am." Murphy responds grudgingly. "Why the hell is everyone asking me the same lately?"

"Clearly you haven't seen yourself on a mirror, John. You look like if you haven't slept in days." 

"Well... yes," he admits with a grimace, "I've had some troubles to sleep, but it's not a big deal, you know? I'm not the only one that's not having a good moment right now." And that's not referring to someone in particular but everybody's general situation. Maybe he has another problem hanging around in his mind, but no one apart from himself should be worried about that.

"I know..." Emori sighs, taking a seat by Murphy's side on the makeshift bed. "Raven is worrying me too, by the way."

"Raven?" Murphy asks confused. "Did something happen to her?"

Emori looks at him and frowns at his sudden interest in the conversation, but she manages to hide her reaction a second later and talks: "I don't know, I tried to talk to her before and Echo did it too, but the only thing she says is that she doesn't feel okay because of everything is happening around us..." She says, but Murphy knows she hasn't finished yet, so he keeps staring at her expectantly, not being aware of the fact that Emori is trying to read his expressions. "Just like you said." 

"And what does that mean?" Murphy asks, raising an eyebrow at the accusation.

"John..." She begins to explain, going from sitting next to Murphy to crouching in front of him and taking one of his hands between hers. "I just want you to know that everything is okay between us. I'm always going to appreciate you in a special way because you were very important to me and you still are. That's the truth. But I know it's over, things are different now and it's time to move on. I don't want you to feel guilty for that, okay?"

"Yeah," Murphy says, partly speechless because of the impact of Emori's words, and especially because he didn't expect something like that from her... or from anyone at all. "I think I get what are you talking about." He confesses, letting out a sigh and squeezing the grip on her hands.

"I'm not going to ask if there's something happening between you and Raven, but let me tell you I've noticed the way you've been avoiding each other these past days."

Murphy doesn't know what to say in response, especially because Emori is right and he doesn't really want to lie to her. It's completely useless, by the way, because he knows she won't believe him.

"And what do you want me to say?" He finally asks, staring down at the floor because he isn't able to bear the depth of eye contact right now. Cowardice in all its splendour, maybe, but it is what it is and there's no need to deny it at this point.

"I guess I was hoping for you to deny it, after all." Emori says in an almost inaudible voice, letting out a bitter laugh after she swallows the lump that was already making her throat ache.   

"Look, Emori..." Murphy whispers looking at her this time, trying to comfort her in some way, "If it makes you feel better, nothing has happened between Raven and me, and neither of us is looking for something to happen right now."

"If I was you, I wouldn't speak for Raven." She denies his explanation. "She has asked me about you more than once."   

"Oh..." It's the only thing he can say in response, internally struggling with a sudden mix of uncomfortable and relieving feelings increasing within his chest. Every single word that has came out from Emori's mouth has been so unexpected that Murphy wasn't prepared to process it completely. And as if it wasn't enough yet, she decides to keep adding wood to the fire.

"I've asked her to exchange her place in Clarke's tent for mine here, by the way."

"And can I ask why the hell did you do that?" Murphy asks, widening his eyes with incredulity while she just lets out a tired sigh.  

"Even if it hurts, I guess it's just what I have to do."

***

Murphy would like to keep ignoring her anyway. It's just... He wants, yes, he really wants to talk to her, making sure that everything is fine and fixing it in case that's not. But he knows Raven is avoiding him for some reason, even when that reason keeps being a mystery for him. He has a vague idea of what could've happened, of course, and finding out would be as easy as asking Bellamy about it. 

But he's not going to ask for an answer he's not really sure he wants to hear. Not from Bellamy's words, at least.

He goes for a walk after his conversation with Emori, returning late at night on purpose and hoping that Bellamy, Echo and Raven are already asleep, specially Raven. He enters the tent and sees her there, laying on her left side and apparently sleeping. Then, as silently as he can, Murphy takes off his shoes and lies by Raven's right side facing her back. After a few seconds he decides it's time to try getting some sleep. It's not like he has much more options, by the way, considering the fact that the weather gets colder every hour. That's the moment when Murphy realizes the weather inside the tent is colder too, due to the fact that the blanket he is used to share with Emori is now occupied by Raven, and he is definitely not willing to get close enough just to cover himself with it too.

 _Just a little colder night,_ he thinks. _Not a big deal._     

Unfortunately, few minutes later Murphy is still more awake than ever, but it's thanks to his endless insomnia that he perceives the way the night's silence is broken by Raven's movements when she slowly turns to face him. Murphy stays so static that he would even stop breathing if he could, especially when Raven's warm breath slightly tickles his cheek at the moment she puts herself closer to his body, now using the blanket to cover both of them with it. And suddenly that piece of cloth isn't the main reason of Murphy's sudden increase in his body temperature... But it's better, it's so much better than that.

"Thanks, Raven." He whispers, and then open his eyes to find Raven staring at him even closer than he expected. 

"You just did the same for me the other night." Raven murmurs in response. Murphy forms a little smile that a second later makes her smile too. During that moment they start feeling a kind of relief inside their chest... A relief they didn't even know they needed to feel, but they did. They needed it because they spent so much time without dedicating nothing more than a silent look to each other, which always ended up being uncomfortable in some way.

"Can I ask why have you been ignoring me then?" Murphy wants to know. Maybe he is being too direct right now, yes, but there's no reason to continue adding mystery to the issue anymore. 

"Tell him in the morning or I'll make sure you two continue talking outside right now." Bellamy's sleeping voice interrupts their conversation, making them laugh slightly at his unexpected comment.

"He is still asleep." Murphy assures.

"He is right, by the way." Raven says. "We'll have time to talk in the morning. Now you should try to get some rest."

"Same as you." He suggests.

Murphy doesn't really know what's going on inside him then, but he can't control the impulse to reach his hand up to Raven's face, sliding his fingers along her cheek and brushing aside a lock of hair just to put it behind her ear. Raven shudders at the sudden touch and a shiver pass through Murphy's body at the sensation of her warm skin behind his. They keep staring at each other's eyes intensely, both of them waiting for the other to do something they aren't really sure they want to do. But Murphy risks first, making apart his nervousness and insecurities to start closing the little distance that was originally separating them, reaching for Raven's lips while her eyes go down directly to his mouth, carefully following every movement. Once there's almost no distance left between them and their breaths are already mixing together, Raven reacts putting her thumb over Murphy's lips, keeping him just a few millimetres away from her face. 

"We can't, and you know it." She tells him, almost with no voice.

Murphy chooses not to speak for the moment, because he is afraid his voice is going to betray him too. He delicately kisses Raven's thumb instead, and then grabs her hand to leave a path of soft, little kisses all over her palm and until her wrist. He hears her whispering his name but he feels like he perfectly knows where she wants him to stop now, so he leaves her hand and approaches her face again, looking at the way Raven's eyes are already watching him expectantly, her lips are partly separated and she is making a noticeable effort not to move a single muscle of her entire body. Finally, she lets out a relieving sigh after Murphy kisses her cheek tenderly.

"Stop being this... different with me, Murphy," Raven murmurs with a hint of amusement on her voice tone, "you are scaring me."

"Then you should make sure your face knows it." He says letting out a giggle. Raven smiles shyly in response and after a few seconds she breaks their eye contact, because Murphy's look seems to intensify when they are in silence and that's so overwhelming that Raven still doesn't know how to handle it... Neither Murphy does, actually. 

"Shut up and go to sleep." She finally says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! ♥


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